I find it curious after I wrote my first story (Broken) I had further release from its hold. That is to say, the more I wrote about those times the greater separation I felt from it. Not that I distance myself from my past, that has never worked out well.

I can now sit back and view it from a different aspect. It’s like being able to scan through the remaining memories as you would a video. Not something I’d want to watch, but the impact of it, I don’t want to use the word trauma, is negligible (Perhaps it is trauma, I’m not a psychologist, something for a deeper study.) I can even see instances toward the end of it all where I was complicit to get what I wanted. A revelation I was not expecting, but true nonetheless. As twisted as it may sound I can see it no other way.

Perhaps I became accepting of it as a relationship in which favours became rewarded. Strange how our minds can become conditioned to accept such things as being normal. It has helped me to better understand how the long term abused find it difficult to report their abusers.

Any thoughts?